Connecting with our kids

As adults, it’s easy to get caught up in our own lives and forget the struggles that children face every day.

Relationships, finances, jobs at home, work and extended family issues are all important, but how often do we stop to recognise that children’s worlds are sometimes complicated too?

How many times have you arrived to collect your child from school feeling hurried and stressed?

It’s easy to be preoccupied with the things you need to do when you get home or the dramas you left behind at work.

Do you sometimes miss the opportunity to be ’present’ in the moment with your child?

Do you miss the verbal and non-verbal cues that your kids give you about what their day was like, how they are feeling and what they need from you right at that moment?

At the end of the day, there may be a lot of things that your children have experienced since you left them at 9.00am.

The may be still trying to trying to process all of that when you pick them up at the gate, the bus stop or when they walk in the front door after school.

An interaction with a teacher may have left them feeling negative about themselves.

They may be confused by the way a friend treated them.

They may be worried that that they won‟t be selected for a team they desperately want to be part of.

They may have a proud moment or happy achievement that they want to share with you,

Are you ready to be there for all of that at 3.00pm?

It’s easy to greet our kids at the school gate, ask lots of questions, whisk them away to an after school activity, follow it up with a rushed dinner, homework and a quick kiss at bedtime .... and then do it all again the next day.

Sound familiar?

Many families have busy timetables and commitments that keep everyone on the move from morning till night.

That’s why it’s important for us to prioritise spending time with our kids – to occasionally enjoy their company, delight in who they are and try not demand or expect anything from them.

A good place to start is by identifying what stresses and emotions we are managing when we meet up with our kids at the end of the day.

Can you put them aside temporarily so that you can connect with your child again at 3 o'clock?

How would your children feel if they walked out of the school gate and were welcomed by a parent who is happy to see them, interested in them and present in the moment?

How important could these moments be for us too?

Can we remember to savour these special moments when our children are excited and happy or relieved to see us at the end of a busy day?

Reconnecting with our kids after school might only take a few minutes, but it can make the world of difference to our kids and is one way to build strong foundations for a loving familiy that thrives.